Presented with a warm smile on a fridgid day.
Written by Ted Nicholas. Please share.
So what is this Polar VVhore-tex? And why won't it leave us alone?
According to the experts, it's,
"One of several semi-permanent weather systems over the Earth, the polar vortex is an area of low pressure in the upper atmosphere that, on average in the Northern Hemisphere, typically has centers in two main areas: near Canada's Baffin Island, and over northeast Siberia."
Siberia? Really?
Blah, blah, blah. Island translation, it's flippin' cold!!! Seems like we've had snow on the ground since October. Just for a while, it would be nice to have some double-digits without that dash in front of them. Last week Santa showed up at our door shivering, and said, "Dude, can I sleep on your couch?" I told him he had to bring in some more wood for the fire first. He made a note on some list that he had with him. Uh oh!
Then there were the gangs of demented penguins sliding down our lane stealing firewood! I think they even cleared a downed tree. It's amazing how much strength they have in their tiny flippers. They're determined little buggers! They did pack the lane down nicely though. Note, I want my axe back.
The Ice Cave Man Cometh!
I heard they pulled an ancient frozen body out of the ice caves from the south side of the island. They were hauling a huge block of blue ice over to CMU for study. They tried to thaw it out at a pig roast, but the windchill kept putting out the fire. It turned out to be Frank. (Someone grab his camera.
Sorry Frank, just kidding. I am probably more ancient than you are. Really nice photographs! Warning!! There have been reports of several polar bears chasing ducks around on main street. If you see them, approach with caution. They can be deadly and vicious, especially when they're cold. Besides, their little bills will really leave a bruise on your shins.
Waaay over the top? Okay, one more.
No worries though, I caught the first sign of spring the other day. I saw a Robin,... (Wait for it)
Frozen to a tree. Awe! :-(
Remember, this is a fictional rant. No animals were hurt during its writing. Well okay, I did have to shoo my cat away from the keyboard several times. I was wondering why we keep getting strange deliveries. I don't even like sushi. Hmmm.
Warm wishes from a never ending winter!
Ted